Many people once envisioned that their relationships would lead to something that would last forever. They expected that they would walk down the aisle with someone who was their partner at a point in time. Ever have this expectation too? If you did, feel at ease that many people also had the same kind of expectations.
Unfortunately, life does not just consist of roses; it has thorns too. And those thorns can be piercing and painful. Likewise, many beautiful relationships have broken up. The partners probably never saw it coming. Their friends may not have ever expected it. But it happened anyway.
Here is a list of the major causes of break-ups in our world today. They are what I have observed and analyzed from events that happen around.
This probably deserves the front position on the list. Most relationships are caused by the infidelity of one of the partners. The infidelity may be sexual or emotional cheating. In emotional cheating, your partner gets so tied up emotionally with the opposite s*x till it seems they should be in a relationship with that person and not you. It can manifest through frequent calls, chats, outings, etc. Ultimately, when the partner finds out, trust is torn to shreds. There may be begging, and forgiveness but the trust is gone. Most times, it is only a matter of time before someone calls it quit.
What is the point of being in a relationship where you should find happiness, yet you are getting abused every day? Abuse is not restricted to physical aggression; it can also be verbal. And both are equally dangerous. Physical abuse can leave you deformed or even make you lose your life. Verbal abuse on the other hand tears down your confidence, self-esteem, and peace till you become weary of life. By observation, women are mostly subject to physical abuse while men are more prone to verbal abuse. Either way, people are starting to muster the courage to leave abusive relationships for good.
This is one of the worst causes of break-ups. What happens here is one partner struggles to make things work while the other partner just watches on. The partner is not necessarily asking for a break-up or seeking to build the relationship. You can call it a lack of devotion or commitment to the relationship. No matter how hard you try to make such a relationship work, one day you will get tired. No matter how hard you stretch to keep the relationship, one day you will snap. The reason is that your partner’s indifference will eventually lead you to a state of frustration where you just let go everything.
When most relationships start, it begins with love as an emotion. The feeling is indescribable. At this point, you can climb mountains for your partner. Soon, the feelings would die down, and reality would set in. The feeling dies down because it is erratic. This is where you are presented with facts about that person. Once you decide to love that person irrespective of what you notice, you have entered the real phase of love. The sad thing is that: by the time most people get past the initial feelings, they realize that though they loved their partner, that partner was merely taking advantage of them. What they termed making sacrifices for love was actually exploitation. Exploitation could be in the form of sex, money, fame, power, material possessions, etc. And once this is discovered, the relationship crashes.
5. Dead feelings:
Many people today dump a relationship when they cease to experience the sweet feelings they felt at the beginning. They think a relationship must always thrill them and stir their excitement. They often forget that relationship may be fun, but it is work. Real work. It may come with its excitement, but it also comes with responsibilities which are necessary to sustain it. Their challenge is that they only want the excitement and not the responsibilities. As soon as they sense the feeling is gone, they quit the relationship too.
This is a rapid destroyer of relationships. When someone insists they are always right and want always to have their way, it is a bad omen. Refusing to apologize or refusing to yield to the opinion of your partner shows that feelings and views do not matter to you. Someone people can bear long and hope that their partner would change. Others have a low tolerance for such egocentric fellows and prefer just to end the relationship.
7. Unsettled issues:
As you probably know, no relationship is perfect. The reason is that both partners have flaws and can make mistakes. Truth is: you will get hurt in a relationship. It may be through the words or actions of your partner. But it takes wisdom to settle the score and allow it to heal. Sadly, most relationships today have wounds that are left unattended to. When one partner gets hurt and hides it rather than allow it to heal, the wound festers. It doesn’t go away; it just gets worse with time. One day, such a partner would just decide they’ve had enough already and call it quit. It is better to settle issues quickly rather than ignore them and pretend they don’t exist.
So, there they are! Our past experiences cease to hurt us once we learn from them. Knowing the above can help you spot a red flag in a relationship and know how to handle it when the need arises.
So, what’s your story? You probably have experienced any of these. You can share your views and experiences in the comment section.