Reasons Why Married Couples Cheat

Cheating in relationships has been around as long as romantic relationships have existed. 

Couples parting ways due to incompatibility is natural; while majority is as a result of couples cheating on each other.

Findings reveal that a large group of people who engage in extra martial affairs usually shift the blame to their partners and sometimes don’t feel guilty for their actions.

We then wonder why married couples cheat.

Here are some likely causes and reason as to why people cheat on their partners.

Feeling Neglected
when one of the partners feels neglected in the marriage, the chances of cheating would likely be high. The search for someone else may start and if one successfully finds a compatible company elsewhere, one might gradually get used to cheating. Though it is an unhealthy step, this is how cheating in a relationship starts.

Craving for More
One of the causes of cheating in marriage is craving for something more. When one of the partners is not getting enough of joy or pleasure in the relationship, it goes without saying that he or she would either silently look around for more or try to break-free from that relationship.

Personality disorder

Another reason to have an affair is because deep down your partner suffers from personality disorder that is narcissism. They are able to happily play a doting partner at home while keeping a dark secret to themselves.

Marriage just serves the narcissist appearance; they trick people into thinking they are happy and settle when in reality they are natural philanderers.

Constant Conflict within the Relationship

If the relationship is plagued with problems – -these could be related to finances, different values, in-laws, career, location, etc. — a person may seek refuge in the arms of someone else. This may be done as a way to escape from the conflicts at hand, or a person may cheat to make themselves feel better about the conflict (for instance, a man who loses his job and feels unable to provide for his family who has an affair with a younger woman, which makes him feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.

Married for the wrong reasons

People get married for the wrong reasons. Pressures from family and society top the list. Many people agree to marriage without even getting to know their life partner. Once the deed is done, they realize the mistake they have made in terms of the choice of their life partner. If they meet someone who is in any way a better match than their current spouse, they are immediately attracted to him/her. And what starts as a simple friendship usually ends up in an affair.

Inability to deal with changes

Life throws changes at us almost every day. Most of us are able to deal with the small changes. But the bigger ones are tougher to deal with — a serious illness in the family, death, loss of employment, financial loss, etc. Many turn to people, apart from their spouses to deal with such changes. They find more comfort in the arms of someone new, perhaps someone not connected to their tough circumstances in any way.

Becoming parents

Becoming a parent changes everything about a husband-wife relationship. Priorities change, the time you can give each other reduces and your immediate living environment alters drastically. While most women give their 200% to being mothers, I know of several men who suddenly feel lost and unimportant at home, and indulge in extramarital affairs. And since most women are usually so busy being mothers, they probably don’t even realize this for a long time

Physical dissatisfaction

Similar to emotional needs, if a person isn’t satisfied by their partner physically, they may seek this out from another person. This could be done consciously or unconsciously, but a person who feels isolated physically will often be drawn to someone who shows them affection and physical attention, which could result to cheating

Emotional disconnect

Sometimes a couple grows emotionally disconnected from each other, the top reasons being lack of time and lack of communication with each other. To be emotionally connected, you need to share, you need to talk, you need to express, you need to listen, you need to laugh, you need to care and show that you care. 

If you don’t do this, over a period of time, chances are you will get emotionally disconnected from each other as a couple and start getting emotionally connected with someone else. What starts out as an emotional bond with someone can eventually lead to an extramarital affair.

Differing life priorities

When a couple gets married, often they don’t speak about life priorities — simply because it is not so important or people are not so clear. With time, the priorities start getting clearer and more pronounced, and increasingly divergent. Over time, these become so different that it becomes tough to live together and agree on even basic things on a daily basis. This can be a catalyst for an extramarital affair.

Some people get into a relationship simply because they believe it can advance their career.

No common interests

 If you have nothing in common with each other, you’ll eventually get absorbed in pursuing your own divergent interests. You will end up not spending enough time together. As you spend time away from each other, you get opportunities to interact with others. And gradually start building a bond with those who share your interests. Many times this leads to an extramarital affair.


Sometimes it is sheer boredom or a need to break the monotony and drudgery of everyday life that is the reason for an extramarital affair. Just for fun, for a change or for some excitement.


In a relationship that is already suffering, the desire to hurt a partner who is (or is perceived as) cheating seems to raise the stakes significantly from mere lack of intimacy. Hollywood enjoys exploiting this category (think “American Beauty”), but in reality very few participants cited this as the main cause of their affairs.

It is tough to see a couple go through the stress of an extramarital affair. Relationships are broken, children are affected. There could be lifelong issues with guilt and trust. It’s not an easy situation for anyone.




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